Allow me to offer you a radical perspective regarding the compatibility between a talker and a silent partner. Not everyone is a talker on this planet. Some people love to talk while others simply love to listen. This is nature’s way of making the world more diversified. For that purpose, talkers need non-talkers and vice-versa. Worrying about the fact that you may not be a talker is worthless, since there is most always someone out there that needs to tell you everything they have on their minds.

If my argument wasn’t compelling enough, you can look at this in the following way: if in relationship both partners are silent, they will eventually make one another uncomfortable, and if both of them are talkers they will eventually drive each other crazy. The talker needs a silent person to calm them down while the silent person needs a talker to get them out their shell.

Most people that don’t particularly enjoy talking a lot are frustrated over this fact and they are worried without an objective reason. They don’t realize that their way of being is just as good the way talkers are. We often see people complain over the fact that their lovers are not communicating with them when in fact, they are talking so much that the silent partner doesn’t feel the need to talk. They feel completely overshadowed by their partner who only see their way of looking at things.

I noticed that women are usually bombarding their men with dozens of question every day. These questions are ranging from good ones up the most awkward questions to ask a guy. Talking constantly usually makes the silent person feel uncomfortable after a while and the only way to get him out of his shell is to simply look him in the eyes and say nothing.

Not every type of silence is positive. There is indeed a different kind of awkward silence that is not linked to a beneficial role in a relationship. This particular type of silence is caused by incompatibility. This incompatibility comes from partners that share different values, different visions in life or different levels of intelligence. Even if both partners enjoy talking, if they are too different they won’t be able to connect, therefore feeling inhibited to express themselves.

Distinguishing between the positive silence and the negative silence is crucial to your relationship. You need to pay close attention to what you are feeling when you have those silent moments. Do you feel angry? Do you feel uncomfortable, like it’s your fault that you can’t seem to communicate properly? If that is the case, then you probably have a case of negative silence in your relationship.

On a different note, if what you feel associated with the silence that you are experiencing is not negative because you don’t rush to say something immediately, and you don’t feel as awkward as you feel excited and even turned on, and if you feel that words sometimes can’t express how you are feeling, then you are experience a beautiful and positive silence.

Cristian writes about various relationship issues at Peopleships.com